I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart!

Newsboys - Something Beautiful

From the album Go

I wanna start it over

I wanna start again

I wanna a new beginning

One without an end

I feel it inside

Calling out to me

Chorus:

It’s a voice that whispers my name

It’s a kiss without any shame

Something beautiful

Like a song that stirs in my head

Singing love will take us where

Somethings beautiful

I’ve heard it in the silence

Seen it on a face

I’ve felt it in the long hour

Like a sweet embrace

I know this is true

It's calling out to me

Chorus

It’s the child on her wedding day

It’s the daddy that gives her away

Something beautiful

When we laugh so hard we cry

Oh the love between you and I

Something beautiful

That is a great upbeat NEWSBOYS song! Many times we forget to think about something beautiful...and let it show on our face! I have actually seen people who think Christianity is some...thing that sobers people and beats them down and keeps them afraid to play cards because somebody might see them and think they're playing poker. I say "actually" as if you haven't seen those people. But I think it's amazing that they could even THINK that because it's so untrue!!!!!! Even some movies nowadays. Like when somebody gets saved in a movie they instantly change into something that never smiles anymore. Or when some movies portray Jesus the guy looks like he's so much holier-than-thou and real mopey! Ha! I just laugh!!! It misleads people to see those movies! I mean, it even messes me up when I think, "Ok, is Jesus REALLY gonna be like THAT?" or, "I'm saved and I sure don't act like that guy! It's not right... is it?" No, it's not, I'll tell you that right now. On the radio I heard a thing about how some people think heaven is going to be boring. DOINK! My head pops up! The guy said how could heaven possibly be boring? God is the source of fun and happiness and making people want to have fun, not Satan! And if we walk around with those "holier-than-thou" attitudes how are we gonna make people want what we have? If you see somebody like that do you go, "Whoa! What have they got that I don't? I wanna be like them!" Heheh. No. Christians should be the joy of the earth!!!!!! Come on people, lighten up and show your joy!!! If you have Jesus you have it, why hide it under a bushel? God raise up a world of happy-go-lucky Christians!!!:P

I Want To Be....Radical

One of my life verses is Romans 12:1&2. It says,
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (emphasis mine)
"Present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." In our youth group we talk a lot about radical worship, and being a radical Christian. Altogether too often, Christians think of being a living sacrifice as being radical. It's not. This verse says that it is our reasonable service. It doesn't say that that's anything that makes you extra spiritual or something. It's just what you are supposed to be doing.
My desire is to be a radical Christian. Someone that witnesses fearlessly, and with everyone they know. Someone that people can look at and now that they have been, and are in the prescence of God. Someone that makes a difference, and spreads revival wherever they go. Can I do this? No. Can I do this with God? Yes.
Honestly, I know that I have a very very long way to go before I can even begin to be radical. But, that's what I think God has called me to. Verse two says, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..." God doesn't call me to be as close to the world as possible, he calls me to be transformed! He calls me to be different. But, he calls me to that and so much more. The last part of the verse is this, "that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." God's good, acceptable, and perfect will is for us to be transformed. And he calls us to live that in front of others, so that they can see what God requires of us.
Altogether too often, Christians (or so they call themselves) don't live differently than the rest of the world. They do exactly what the world does. Lost people see them doing these things, and assume that they aren't any different from them. So, why should they change? They don't have a reason at that point. But, God calls us to live differently, and to let the world see that we live differently. This is your reasonable service.

What if I Was Honest?

There's a KJ-52 song that really talked to me, it says:
What if I spoke w/ complete honest-ness
What if told you that I’ve broken some promises
I dealt with pride ever since a little kid
I’ve comprised and I’ve doubted like Thomas did
I can’t hide though he sees the way I live
Every single time I told every little fib
I can’t deny cause he’s already knowing this...
I still got issues that’s hard to let go
Still got some bitter situations with a few folks
Still got a temper that I work hard to control
I gotta remember your standard that’s the goal

Can I be honest?
Can I be real?
Would they still just to how I feel?
But if I was honest ?
If I was real?
Would they even care about how I feel?

I’ve wanted to get back at those who tried to doubt me
I’ve wanted to hit back every time they tried to clown me
I’ve said some things about those that tried to down me
I’ve been too hard on some people that’s been around me
I’m a workaholic addicted to the game
Plus sometimes I’ve been addicted to the fame
I look deep inside things that I’m ashamed
Still the little kid conflicted still in pain

I’m so grateful when I think though how you found me
I used to be hateful of everything that’s around me
I’m so thankful of the way that you still surround me
So shameful yet you love me still confounds me
See I’ve put myself first
I’ve gone days sometimes without reading your word
I’ve acted like a huge jerk
Yet you still love me that’s the thing that I’ve learned...
Hindsight is 20/20 so I’m like whatever

But I regret some of my broken relationships
No matter how hard I’ve tried to just make em fit
And I don’t blame myself and I’m not blaming them
But too many up in my life have just came and went
I’m not perfect I serve a God who is
I serve a God who lives who says that I’m his kid
When I shoot for the mark but I shoot and miss
I serve a God who gives a new start and he forgives
And takes every thing I ever did
Then he throws it in the sea of forgetfulness
See I’m just being honest I hope your getting this
Cuz he’s my promise the reason that I live

I struggle with things everyday that no one knows about. Not even my closest friends. This song describes me. There were a few more lines to the song, and they're great, but they don't describe me. I tend to hide behind a smile, to pretend everything is okay, when it isn't. I cry on the inside, and long for someone to know, but how can they? I know God is there, he's the only thing keeping me from myself. I know he cares, he saved me. But, at the same time, I need someone there. And when I think I've hit rock bottom worst, I find that he's pulled me out, and given me the people in my life that I needed. He's always there, always providing for me.

So, what if I was honest? What if I told you that I feel like the hypocrite I am after most of my posts? What if I told you that I struggle everyday with giving everything to God? What if I told you I wanted so bad to do something I knew was so wrong? I'm being honest. I'm being real right now. I struggle everyday. I cry myself to sleep some nights. I long for attention from the people that don't give it to me. I do things for the wrong reasons. Why? Because I'm a sinner. And, yet, you know what? God always forgives, and sets me back on track.

You know how hard it is to write this? Harder than you know. Because, I have a pride problem. I tend to talk down to people, because it makes me feel smart, I guess. I hate to put myself in a bad light. But, you know what I've realized? I can be honest, because God saved me solely because of his wonderful grace. I don't have to care what people think, because my Savior loves me, and that's worth dying for.